Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Eternal Sunshine of my Spotless Mind

After a whole day of torturing my friend's eardrums with my belching into the mike at some dinghy KTV joint in Chinatown, ihad a marvellous time at Haji Lane with Arita-kun who's visiting from Japan, just lounging around on the Persian carpet and smoking shisha, me tweaking my digicam to take night shots of the surrounding crumbling architecture which no doubt used to be rather grand; and dodgy shots of smoke-filled laughter: of me, of him and of our equally dubious "authentic arabic drinks". It has been a long time since. Tonikaku, i've always been an agent of the night, prodding along when the rest of the world sleeps. This is my personal space, like i snapped my fingers and everything else falls away, dark and silent, with me left on this silent stage after the curtain has fallen. Loneliness? Tonight isn't such a night. Of course, the initial ritual of sprawling on the tiled floor awashed with Sun Yanzi ballads may induce a bout of self-wallowing, nonetheless, tonight was a "snap out of it, Jared" night, and i went to take some artistic shots of my tutorials (?!) with my digicam (which i am still trying to bangsqueezeshape into an SLR, fruitlessly...) when somehow adjusting some settings I accidentally pressed the format button once, but once was all it took for it to wipe away, with one thumbpress, all the photos from tonight, all the photos from "Red & White Day" (9th Aug) with the OG. Gone, gone, gone, even though i immediately removed the batteries when it started to format. Gone, gone, gone.

How many times must I erase the things that I hold so dear to myself, if not voluntarily, but involuntarily? "只怕你不懂我这样的人" ~游鸿明's [恋上一个人] It's not a waste, its a reminder to hold on dearly to the things we treasure.

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1 Comments:

Blogger 敏.ミン said...

i hate it when the sub0 writes like tat. known u since the journal of journals. when ure gritting thru' shit, u write nothing at all, then when u realli feel wretched u write a post ink-drenched w sadness

i realise ESOTSM is not possible..the images just pop up somehow, altho many yrs hav passed. Of coz diff ppl hav diff capacities to remember

life's quite a beach sometimes. the waves mercilessly carry u along thru the passage of time against ur will sometimes, hurting or not, till hopefully u get swept to an island where u'll find a new motivation for life in replacement for the one tat has passed

Time is the healing agent yet what toments is tat we cant hurry time, but grit thru it. Like salt on your wounds, as you cruise through time, stinging it is, what is promised is dilution of pain, and one day u'll see a new sun shining on you again.... =)

may d sun shine soon 4 you...
<3 the grumpy but caring Rmin...+)

7:29 PM  

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