Thursday, July 12, 2007


I hoard. Christmas cards, old photos, private notes written to me (10 years ago), and a billion and one inconsequential presents of little worth. Today, being one of the rare days I had absolutely nothing to do, I set about my clearout mission. Re-reading all these again, seeing phrases like "friends forever" and with the hindsight of today, I realised that I had somehow left something behind, it wasn't innocence, but something stopped existing while I felt myself tightly embracing the worldly cynicism of the present, the Now, the future. My past was bittersweet, somethings I don't want to remember, some things I wonder if it is in my interest to forget, lest I commit them again, as humans are so prone to do so. I have had many things in my life, things that once meant so much, today I look upon as junk. Today, it is time to lug electronic stuff to Cash Converter, recycle my empty bottles upon empty bottles of absolute vodka (it was a cool collection when I was underaged, not now). I do not see myself as a sensitive type of guy, but today I am strangely affected by how treasure could be reclassified as junk in a matter of a few years. Perhaps what I am chasing now, what I value with the breath of my life right now, would be scoffed at by the same person, me, 10 years down the road. To swim. This is overwhelming. and Trish, if you are reading this, I miss you tremendously. I am still keeping your cards.